TOMLINSON {party of five}

This could be a very emotional post for me. And I don't have it scripted so I'm not even sure how it's going to go. Bare with me.

Many years ago, when I was about 13, my parents decided it would be a good idea for our family, well part of our family, to move to California. My brothers were getting into lots of trouble with friends and such so they wanted to remove them from the situations and the current environment. I was going into the 8th grade and was VERY shy, timid and self conscious. It took me a while to get to know people and to develop any kind of friendships, but eventually I became very good friends with a couple of girls and we are still friends today. We had great times together, lots of laughs and even a little trouble.

After being in California for four years my parents decided that it may be a good idea to move back to Utah. Now I know that my parents new about some of the trouble I had gotten myself into, but I'm sure they didn't know it all. I was really struggling with a lot of things that were going on. Friends starting to drink and party as well as starting to experiment with drugs and sex. None of which I wanted to get involved in. I felt like I was starting to lose sight of what and who I was. I never got involved in these activities, but the temptation was there. I'm sure it would have only been a matter of time before I was a part of it all. Although I was attending church and seminary regularly I felt like I was kind of slipping away. I wasn't sure about what I believed any more. And it was right about this time that my parents decided to move.

I was actually ready to move. I felt that if I got away I could figure out who I was again. I could find my testimony. I could work on being the person I wanted to be. The person I knew that my Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I desperately wanted to know who I was and how I fit in this world. And in my family.

My Sunday School teacher at the time was a young married guy with a couple of kids. As much as I wish I could, I just can not remember his name. But he was awesome! After one of his lessons he told us he had put together a video and he wanted us to watch it. It was something that he had done. Not a church produced or approved video. When he turned it on I immediately recognized the song. It was one of my favorites at the time. It still is actually. I remember hearing the first few notes and thinking how odd it is that he would use that song with that subject. By the time the video was done I was pretty much a pool of emotion and a puddle of tears. I realized that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do love me. They know me. Jesus Christ gave up his life so that I could do what I needed to to be able to return to my Heavenly Father. That was the very moment I began to develop my own testimony. I was beginning to understand who I was and see who and what I could become.

I wish I could take credit for this video, but I really just stole the idea from my former Sunday School teacher. I wish I could remember his name so I could give him the credit he deserves. This is my version of his video:

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